First2Third

First World meets Third World 1-2-3

Argief Inhoud

Observations 2007

Observation 2007.29

I've decided to join the maddening crowd, many years too late, and start blogging, so all observations from this day onwards will move to the blog page. 

Observation 2007.28

So the Dutch have this beautifully irritating technique that they apply in conversations, usually in business, and its applied by both junior and seniour alike, I'm sure subconciously because they are irritatingly consistent in using it where they a) don't know the answer or b) want to win some time or ground in an argument. Its when a perfectly clear and logical question is questioned again which, to the uninitiated, leaves them a bit flustered because they are led to think that their own clear and logical question contains a vicious red herring. A typical converstaion would go like this:

Unsuspecting questioner: "Should this workstation not be checked to ensure that all required software are installed on it?"

Whiley Coyote Dutchie "What do you mean by this?" (Wat bedoel je daarmee?) 

Unsuspecting questioner thinking: [what did you not understand??]

Unsuspecting questioner: "Well, I mean, I don't mean to be rude or anything but surely there are a bunch of software standard to this workstation, and it's not been checked" (this off course puts the questioner in a bit of a position of excusing himself, giving the Dutchie the upper hand, and the time to think of an excuse why the software has not and will not be checked.

Dutchie: This workstation comes with everyting standard preinstalled." 

Off course this last answer could have been given directly after the first question, but of course that's not how the Dutchies do it, and that is what is so maddeningly irritating, i'm still thinking of the best retort in these situations, i think its the Dutchie approach right back at them:

"What do mean by what do you mean?"

Observation 2007.27

Ses dae in die Timbavati, op Johnniesdale plaas, waar Marli en Walter hulle ewige trou(e) aan mekaar opgedra het.  Dit was n ervaring en 'n half. Dit was meer as wat 'n vakansie kon wees. Nie net pragtige dae, met 'n klomp fantastiese gasvrye vriendelike mense nie, maar ook 'n boservaring wat mens nie dikwels beleef nie, al is mens ook 'n Suid-Afrikaner.  Ons het met Transfrontiers (http://www.transfrontiers.com/) twee drie-uur wandelings deur die veld gedoen, en 3 game drives (en jammer vir die engelse name) die volgende diere en plante gesien: 'n reuse trop impala, steenbok, grys duiker, white backed vulture, bateleur eagle, scrap hare & baby, leeus, pofadder, spotted eagle owl, yellow & red billed hornbill, 'n pappa warthog, golden orb spider, tree squirrel, mamma en baba kameelperd, buffels, 2 LUIPERDS - 2!!, tierboskat (serval), een reusagtige trapsuutjies, bush baby, 2 purple rollers, trop olifante - bietjie versteek agter die bosse, sjongololo (millipede), rhino horned beetle, white aniseed (liquorice), devil thorn (word sepering as jy dit verpulp, tamobieboom, amarula boom, reuse afrikaanse slak dop, klein skilpadjie, spoor van 'n klomp diere: olifant, porcupine, honey badger, leeus en welpies. Ek wag nog vir die foto's want ek het nie 'n kamera daar gehad nie.

Observation 2007.26

Toe ek nog in Stellenbosch gestudeer het, way back in the day, moes ek so drie-vier keer 'n jaar terug ry Bloemies toe (1000km one way), waar die ouers gewoon het.  So, as ek 'n lift kon kry, dan was die rit: Stellenbosch, Paarl, De Doorns, Matjiesfontein, Laingsburg, Leeu Gamka, Beaufort Wes, Drie Susters, Richmond, Hanover, Colesberg, Springfontein, Bloemfontein. En dan dieselfde roete weer terug Kaap toe as die vakansie verby was.  So dit spreek vanself dat toe Gert Vlok Nel verlede Vrydagaand in die Paard van Troje in Den Haag opgetree het, ek hom moes sien, rede nommer een: die herinnering aan Beaufort-Wes gedurende die road trips tussen Bloem en die Bos, en rede nommer twee, omdat ons way back in '95 in dieselfde compleks gewoon het - Amatoni.  Hy lyk dieselfde as ek onthou, maar ek het nooit daai tyd met hom gepraat nie. So my belewenis tydens die minuut en 'n half wat ek met hom gepraat het met die autographs na die tyd was - hy's trek jou soortvan na binne, in 'n klein sirkeltjie tussen die twee van julle as jy met hom praat.  Maar die GVN vertoning was meer as net meneer GVN - vir my het dit sekere herinneringe so goed voor oë gebring, dat GVN byna net die medium was van my gedagtes. My hart het soos 'n 'n leegte gevoel wat net die leë vlaktes van die karoo kon volmaak. (cliche alert). Die lang lang niks wat verby spoed as mens teen 150km/h in 'n kar verby jaag, en dan stop vir toebroodjies of 'n piepie, en ewe skielik is dit so stil en oop.  en warm, soms is daar 'n mooi hek wat jy wil afneem, of 'n enkele boom teen 'n besondere sonsondergang.  Of 'n turksvy plant wat vrugte dra, laat jou mond water vir turksvye.  Man i sound like my granny.

Observation 2007.26

my man het 'n 6maande plan!!!

Observation 2007.25

Die effimante (let wel, ek bedoel NIE gay nie), intellectual types wat van die veronderstelling uitgaan dat alles wat mens produseer nie goed is nie omdat hulle dink hulle is die kat se stert begin my nou deeglik af te *@#$.

Observation 2007.24

Nou dat ons langer hier bly kan ek regtig die nuances raaksien, byvoorbeeld, die manier waarop hulle grappies maak, kan soms heel letterlik wees, en laat my tone soms omkrul maar ek dink hulle dink dis ongelooflik slim. Hiers 'n voorbeeld: (die voorbeeld werk nie in engels nie want daars nie 'n ekwavilent vir die woord "word" in Nederlands nie):

radio omroeper: Hoe oud is jy?

inbeller: ek word 60

radio omroeper: ja, ek ook maar nie vir 'n aantal jare nie

I mean really, hoekom vra mens in anyway vir iemand hoe oud hy gaan is, nie sodat hy vir jou gaan se hoe oud hy oor 7 jaar gaan word nie, maar hoe oud hy hierdie jaar word. Die radio omroeper het my so bietjie aan Niekie van RSG se inbel program laat dink, mens kry dieselfde urge om die radio stukkend te gooi.

Observation 2007.23

So the husband asks me after the KPN cable guy had come over to test our line, and we are now left to await Tiscali to save us from the drought of not having internet - "will Tiscali know its been tested". I say to him - trust the system.  I'm not saying KPN or Tiscali are any good, I'm saying, here in Dutchieland things work, even if you have to wait six to eight weeks for it.  Our bed, that we bought beginning of March will possibly only make its appearance in May, but it will appear, and the other day I got a ticket from the police because i had parked halfway up a sidewalk in a parking lot that is only halfway paved and the rest under mud, acccording to them it was a street and i was blocking the flow of traffic. My point is, things work here, but one has to ask oneself if the definition of "working" is indeed "functional"?

Observation 2007.22

So die een ding wat ek nog altyd probeer verhelp op my website is om haat te spreek (ek moan wel so bietjie). Ek dink dit sal terugkom om jou te byt, en ek dink as jy dit op die web geuiter het gaan dit jou nie bevry van jou haat nie, dit gaan 'n kweekaarde word vir meer haat.  En daarom, al het my kollegas my soms by die mure uitgedryf, het ek dit eintlik nooit hier genoem nie. Want ek is anyway te papbroek om hulle by die naam te noem, so what's the point? Maar met hierdie observation wil ek graag noem dat my ouers se landlord (hier in Dutchieland) die grootste poepel op aarde is, die laagste skermunkel wat nie werd is om die stofbolle onder 'n verrotte trekkerband op te vee met 'n stukkie muf brood nie, en ek wens ek het die guts gehad om die ou se naam hier te noem.  En ek belowe dis die laaste keer wat haat spraak hier gaan verskyn. Echt.

Observation 2007.21

Uit die aard van die saak nie regverdig om te veralgemeen nie, maar die Dutchies hou nie van veralgemening nie.

Observation 2007.20

Cross culture communication : how the polder model can be a good thing, capitalism and our views on the Americans. Finally I had the opportunity to air my views, and be the recipient of other aires.

Observation 2007.19

So the Dutch kiss three times on the cheek, once more than the Italians, and three times more than the SA-ers who don't kiss on the cheek but shake hands, and only kiss on the mouth when its your aunt's second husband who you're not going to kiss in a million years anyway. Here's to remembering the Dutch brush on the cheek that leaves one slightly flustered and definitely aware

Observation 2007.18

Aangesien die trant nou 'n bietjie negatief is - chauvenisme is a lewendige tydverdryf wat in sy mees aktiewe vorm in die bedryfslewe hier beoefen word.  Dit word veral gespeel in vergaderings, tydens besluitnemingsprosese, en verkiesing van bestuurstrukture, maar veral by die inagneming van menings en volg van idees.

Observation 2007.17

Soms traan mij oë bijna van verontwaardiging oor arrogansie en onbeskoftheid van vreemdelinge se optrede in hierdie land. Maklik om nou daaroor te skryf want die ervarings is iets van die verlede. Maar dit verg tog 'n inskrywing.

Observation 2007.16

Wat is vriendskap regtig? Wanneer mag mens jou rug op iemand draai, of moet mens altyd die agterdeur oophou? 

Observation 2007.15

Eleven years ago on the slopes of Stowe, Vermont, with Rubberband Girl in my head and translating it into movement. Loving every moment of boarding. Loving it even more than that other moment of ecstacy. This weekend I realised it can happen again, mountain and snowboard required. Wait till end of month when we go to that small country with the high mountains, not to be confused with Australia.

Observation 2007.14

So would I live life differently if I didn't believe in a here-after / life eternal / life after death? Answer is yes. Sometimes I think I should live more like I could die tomorrow, though. So 2007 will be the year of living for today, but for life eternal. TBTG.

Observation 2007.13

En dan weer die goeie dinge van die lewe is om 'n uur lank met vriendin Heidi of vriendin Sarah oor die telefoon te klets want dis Skype of dis 1,5c per minuut. YEA!

Observation 2007.12

As ek oor iets kan kla hier, en regtig kan kla, is dit die apteke. Jy neem 'n nommer en jy wag. Dikwels vir 'n halfuur, en dan om jou medisyne te kry, wat jy in SA by 'n apteek van die rak af kan koop. Of OK, as dit nou skedule medisyne is word al jou details vir nog 'n half uur gecheck net vir ingeval jy 'n biologiese oorlog daarmee wil veroorsaak, en dan, as jy dit kry, is dit 'n derde van die sterkte wat jy in SA kan kry.  O ja, en as daar iets is wat jy wil weet, dan kan hulle jou nie se nie, want dis in die boksie, en hulle kannie die verpakking oopmaak nie - OK fine - maar hoekom weet jy nie hoe werk die produk nie, jy hou dit dan agter die toonbank sodat ek nie self daarna mag kyk nie - of - en dit het ek al gehoor - hulle dish lekker onwetenskaplike boereraad uit - wat ek a) ook geweet het en b) duidelik nie soek nie want ek is in die apteek om medisyne te koop daarvoor, nie om te hoor ek moet myself warm hou en veel slaap nie - wie sou nou ooit daaraan gedink het. 

Observation 2007.11

Like, iets wat my net nog die heeltyd opval is hoe hard hulle hier is, daar is weinig deernis, mense (en ek veralgemeen ongelooflik) kan intellektualiseer oor 'n situasie maar ek dink nie hulle plaas hier hulleself in die ander ou se skoene nie, ek dink nie hulle leer om 'n paar myl in jou broer se skoene te loop nie.  dis eintlik hartseer, want daar is nie hartseer nie.  dis miskien 'n state of denial wat al die enigste waarheid geword het. 

Observation 2007.10

Hier in Nederland kan jy net 2 geure chips kry - Paprika en Natural - geen sout en asyn, barbecue, cheese and onion, of enige ander geur wat ek nou nie kan onthou nie.

Observation 2007.9

Its still 2006. Two days to go to Christmas.  Was really hoping for a white Christmas but global warming is giving us a two finger salute. We did dump our paper and glass at the recycle bins today so maybe a few flakes.. As usual my family spends its Christmas spread over three continents. This has been the case for the last 15 years or so, someone is always on a mission somewhere. Are we happier that way? The Dutch do whatever they do over Christmas - they put their lights up and they shop as if its going out of fashion. I  said to the husband perhaps we should go help out somewhere where they are maybe giving food to poor people or some kind of charity action, just to make Christmas a little less about getting and more about giving. We couldn't find anything. The husband's dry remark was: There are no poor people in Netherlands.

Observation 2007.8

Vandag, 11 Desember 2006 is die ouers 35 jaar getroud. 

Observation 2007.7

So I had urgent business at the South African consulate in Wassenaarseweg 45, Le Haye. It felt like I was home. The toilet door was broken and there were a few old broshures to read, utterly recreating the Dept of Home Affairs back in say.. Randburg. At least I was very efficiently helped by the lady at legilisations, and it was free. Unlike anything in Dutchieland. 

Observation 2007.6

My wish for Christmass is a view on a mountain, see, surf, a good pair of hiking boots and climbing shoes and some rope, and someone that want to go and scale some cliffs with me, to pour out my mental energies into physical movement. Thereafter to splash myself clean in cold moutain water, and sit and stare into an open fire, with someone strumming a guitar. The next day I want to do the same again, perhaps adding a run on a white beach, and on the third day I want to take a cano and go paddle just behind the break. On the fourth day I want to put my snorkeling gear on, and snorkel the whole day long, and if i get cold i want to have a wetsuit in ready supply.  On the sixth day I want to climb again and on the seventh day i want to put myself on the very same beach with a towel and supply of fresh beers, and talk about the week just past.

Observation 2007.5

Ok, so it turns out that Swarte Piet, the little helper of Sinterklaas, is not a little black boy, he's black from the soot of all the chimney's he's got to crawl thru.  mmm... if u didn't know that though it would definitely elicit a frown, and even though there's an explanation to it, I still wouldn't do it in SA - it's definitely going to irk someone.  Not that anyone would think of doing it in SA anyway, but theoretically speaking.

Observation 2007.4

Here's a bet for a sixpack Windhoek that I'm the first person going for a run through Alphen aan den Rijn on a Friday evening 9.30 listening to a mix of Miriam Makeba and Mango Groove on their MP3 player.

Observation 2007.3

Altijd nice om te hoor as jou vermoedens dat iemand 'n *ssh*le is, onafhanklik bevestig word deur iemand anders.

Observation 2007.2

"De scholen zijn weer begonnen". Ek onthou verlede jaar hoe hierdie sinnetjie my heeltemaal uitgeboul het. Ek kon net nie glo dat iets so maklik soos - "Die skole het weer begin" in Afrikaans - soveel taalreëls kon bevat nie. Ewe skielik moes ek al die volgende konsepte inneem-

  1. Gebruik van 'de' vs. 'het' - meervoude kry altyd 'de'. In enkelvoud is dit: "het school", maar in die meervoud "de scholen"
  2. 'Scholen' se spelling - 'sch' in plaas van 'sk' en meervoud met 'n '-n'.
  3. 'Zijn' in plaas van die maklike 'is' van Afrikaans
  4. Verbuiging van die werkwoord 'begin' na 'begonnen'.

I mean - it just seemed ridiculous.  Nou is dit 'n jaar later en " de scholen zijn alweer begonnen", maar hierdie keer is die konsep redelik goed ingeburger. 

Observation 2007.1

How would you feel if all the 'black' people in your country suddenly put 'white' paint on their faces, dress up in clown suits and hand out sweets? Would you call it a mockery? I'm not sure how it would go down in SA but here it seems to go down just fine, only replace 'black' with 'white'.

Observations 2006

I call them the Dutchies.  We have quite a lot to learn from them. How can such a relatively small nation be so prosperous? But how can they consistently fail to win the football world cup?  OK, bad example. They are the tallest nation on earth and gettting taller.  They live damn close to each other. They bike.

I have a few observations regarding the Dutchies, here goes:

Observation 56

This page is getting too long, I should start another one.  The Dutch are behaving themselves so I cannot roddel (that's skinder) about them. tchtsk-tchtsk.

Observation 55

This observation is dedicated to a Dutch colleague who is only the second Dutchie to have read this website, after Arybert of course. Joost, show me some quaint Dutch behaviour to write about.

Observation 54

This year we had 3 weeks of summer. It was in July. It was hott the hottest that it had been for years. The grass was turning yellow. I remembered the Free State in summer.  Then, all of a sudden, in August it started raining in buckets and since then it has become the wettest August "in alle mense heugenis". Too bad about summer being over though.

Observation 53

Lets call a spade a spade: the "volksbuurten" here are nothing more than modernised ghetto's, and an "allochtoon" classifies a person according to race in the same way the word "apartheid" signified separation of people according to race.

Observation 52

We've been here exactly a year now. 13th of August 2005 - 13th of August 2006.  Observations are getting fewer and fewer, I don't know if i've exhausted the differences, or if I've become used to the way things are here, or forgotton the way we do things in SA.  I've had my observations confirmed now by many expats whom I've talked to in this past year.  Even had Dutchies confirming my observations.  In retrospect its been much easier adapting here than in the UK. The teenager behind the MacDonalds counter in the Praxis today was positively brimming with friendliness. The lady at the till less so, but said hi and bye.  I come home to a safe, pretty neighbourhood, where I know who my neighbours are.  There is less variety, in my mind SA is brimming with vibrance, rich and poor, you see people being hugely inventive to make ends meet, you see entrepreneurs, you see colour, you smell the air, clean or dirty, the dust gets in your nostrils when its dry.  People get very angry and shake their fists, and shout, you curse back. You throw your toys out the cot. You put your foot down in the traffic and to as fast as you like.  You play politics at work,  you have loads of friends who can share their stories, life in Africa, life abroad. Holidays at the coast, see, sand, beer, music, tears, religion, intenseness that makes the Netherlands seem dull. Everything is ever so subtle here. There is a distance in being, that you don't 'get' if you come from Africa, which makes my head burst.  For the first time I miss it. Home, SA.

Observation 51

They don't do open plan kitchen & living room, they don't like the smell of the kitchen mixed up into the air of the living room.

Observation 50:

They breed docile dogs here. Scene 1 in SA: You go for a lekka jog in your neighbourhood. Stray dog/neighbour's dog that jumped the fence/antie walking her dag without a leash approaches. You cross to the other side in anticipation of the impending attack. Pooch speeds towards you yapping, gnashing, bitching, to bite you on the shins, heels and other biteable bits.  This happens every time with every dog that you pass. The ones behind the fences jump up against them like howling wolves, so that for the sake of peace and quiet, you jog past quickly. End scene 1 in SA.

Scene 1 in Dutchieland.  You go for a leuke lopie in your neighbourhood park.  This is of course where all homeowners take their dogs.  Beware of jogging on the grass.  No stray dogs. Antie walking her dog with or without leash approaches (on very narrow walking path). Now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place because there's just no way you're going to run on the grass (see Observation 35), but as the distance shortens, you hear no gnashing and see no slobbering,  you avert your eyes and don't show your teeth, but poochie poo is not interested. You are no threat. You may pass.  This happens every time, with every dog. End scene 1 in Dutchieland.

Observation 49:

I thought the point of going on holiday was 'to get away from it all' but for a Dutchie it means going to sit 'op de camping' where they are squashed in with loads of other Dutchies, in order to recreate that village atmosphere from back home.. Honestly...

(Guest) Observation 48 from Antonio:

Similarities between the Dutch culture and the Italian culture: a) strong family bonds and b) both don't kill themselves working.

Observation 47:

Dutchie cuisine = frites met mayonnaise

Observation 46:

There is a secret game that the Dutchies play on the bicylce paths. It goes like this: you and your partner are happily cyling next to each other on the right hand side of the bicycle path and see another pair of approaching cyclists. You and your partner automatically change from cycling abreast to inline, while the uncoming pair sits unperturbed abreast, and as they pass you, the inner cyclist's wheel is just on their side, but just, so their legs, and bicycle handles are actually on your side of the lane, causing you to keep even more to the right EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE ALREADY GONE BEHIND EACH OTHER instead of side by side, in order to accomodate the them. So then you think: Ah! next time we should just keep cycling next to each other and see what the oncoming pair does.  Well! That's where I think you lose if you didn't grow up on a bike, or maybe its something they teach in Dutch schools. The teacher in cycle class probably tells them: "Now kids, look right past your opponent, and cycle straight ahead, taking care that you wheel is on your side of the path, do not slow down and under no circumstances cycle in single line." I think its their version of playing chicken. And if you're not Dutch you tend to be the chicken.

Observation 45:

Just a week in the United States and a year in Dutchieland and I find myself comparing the Dutchies and the Yanks.  The abundance of space leads to the gluttony of urban sprawl, which almost seems sinful, compared to the strict measures that the Dutch lay out their land.  This is also reflected in their portions, truly too large, a piece of steak sprawling on a too large plate, or a hamburger that weights about a kilo.  Or a glass of soda that doesn't count as a glass but as enough fluid for a day long hiking trip.

Observation 44:

Na 'n naweek in Duitsland, op die autobann, is dit soos om rondgestoot te word in 'n rolstoel as jy weer op die Nederlandse paaie kom. Die vraag is, wat së dit oor die verskille tussen die Dutchies en die Deutchies?

Observation 43:

Leadership and empowerment. There is much to say about it.  And very little to see here.

Observation 42:

The fundamental flaws with the polder model: once you throw an issue on a table in a discussion, it isn't your issue anymore, its akin to confessing your sins, because then its taken away. Therefore, in the polder model, an issue that is brought up by someone isn't the responsibility of that someone anymore, it lays on the table, ownerless.  Another flaw in the polder model then feeds this problem even further by discouraging natural leadership, therefore no-one assignes the now accumulated pot of issues, or asks for progress on it; the coordinator, only sees that it gets documented, inventarised, and categorised. 

Observation 41:

Ek stem nie saam met hulle management style nie, dis nie deel van hulle kultuur om almal laer te trek en 'n besluit te maak en dan daarvoor te "go" nie.  Hulle pak nie die bul by die horings nie.  Hulle sirkel die bul, krap sy magie, en trek sy stert, maar die bul bly baas en bulder bo-oor die tuin. Hulle sit nie 'n hek om die tuin nie, maar hamer 'n lys reels op 'n stokkie net links van die tuin en vertel dan aan die eienaar dat die bul nie die reëls gelees het nie. As die plante in die tuin nie groei nie gaan hulle nie op hulle knieë langs die plant en steek hulle vingers in die grond nie, of ploeg bietjie die grond om nie, hulle besluit om die ou man wat in die tuinhuisie 3 tuine verder sit te raadpleeg, en stuur 'n afvaardiging na hom toe om uit te vind wat het hy toentertyd gedoen toe hy laas so probleem gehad het. Hulle vra ook nie dadelik nie maar wag totdat hulle 'n lys van bevindinge bymekaar het sodat hulle hom op een slag kan vra.  Teen die tyd is die plant al dood, maar dan word daar kan aan die eienaar teruggerapporteer word dat hulle wel stappe gedoen het in die oplossing van die probleem. (ppps net jammer die plant is intussen dood).  Dis hoe hulle manage.

Observation 40:

Jij mag overal honger zijn, maar je gaat altijd thuis eten.

Observation 39:

Teaching in a Dutch school must be hell, because I've just had a two day course with professionals (read consultants) and the amount of talking, sniggering, and ignoring the very capbable lecturer, has actually caused me distress.  Maybe he's used to it, and was perhaps himself one of those sniggering idiots sitting next to me..

Observation 38:

 'Moet' is nie 'n woord wat jy eintlik hier moet gebruik nie. As jy 'n Dutchie wil opstropolis maak dat gebruik jy 'moet'.  As ek die situasie nou goed verstaan is dit omdat hulle die reg het om te doen wat hulle wil, (of course) en deur te së 'moet' impliseer jy dat jy iemand forseer tot die 'moet'-aksie.  haha.

Observation 37:

The chauvenism in this country is ghastly. I have to check I'm not barefoot and pregnant everytime I'm get that 'this is not for you, woman'-type vibe.

Observation 36: 

The woman have low voices. Low.

Observation 35:

Hondepoep orals.  As daar 'n strokie gras is, dan is daar "alvast" hondepoep by die kruiwaens vol te kry. Of eendepoep, of perdepoep, of ganspoep of katpoep. En 'n "uitlaatstrook" 'n aanduiding dat jy jouself in landmyngebied begeef.

Observation 34:

Cycling on day old snow can be dangerous for your health - i've slipped now twice that the bike basically glides out from under me, like it has a mind of its own, once coming down on my knee and the other time on my left buttock. The cheeck is definitely swollen because i couldn't sit on it the whole day, but Antonio wasnt sure if it was swollen or if I just had a fat bum. 

Observation 33:

I'm warming up to them. On a one to one basis they are very nice. I just think that South Africans associate that niceness with maybe the fact that when you have a problem that very same nice person will also be sympathetic to your cause, but i suspect they are only nice in that moment in time when you are having the one to one conversation with them.  Although to be fair this may be a universal human thing rather than a Dutchie thing.

Observation 32:

Their planning is better than the execution of their planning. 

Observation 31:

How the *$# can they make me fail my driver's licence in this $#@ little country, when I've been driving for 13 years!???!!!

Guest Observation 30: [Amelia]

Hulle - dosente, studente, ek weet nie van professionele mense nie - dra onbeskaamd twee tot drie dae na mekaar PRESIES dieselfde outfit (ek is actually nuuskierig oor die sokkies en onderklere ook?!)

[123-die op kommersiële front geld dit vir die manne ongetwyfeld ook, ons manager het een keer 2 dae na mekaar deselfde swart en groen strepies hemp gedra, en ons het dit almal opgemerk omdat dit so 70'ies shirt was, so dink net hoeveel keer gebeur dit met die gewone office uniform wanneer dit mens nie opval nie.]

guest Observation 29: [Amelia]

2) Daar is geen sprake van Afrikaanse koeitjies en kalfies om nice-heid se onthalwe nie - my erg leuke vriendin Elisabeth het gewoon gistraand kom thee drink en reeds vooraf per sms laat weet: "Ik blij niet lang. Ik ben moe." Nou ja - dan weet ons mos albei!

Observation 28:

OK, Vrydagaand kon ek nie anners nie, hierdie barlady stoot my net eenvoudig uit die pad met haar stewige agerwereld wat omtrent by my rughoogte is (I am somewhat vertically challenged), sonder om te boo-of-te-baa. Nou, sy doen tog net haar werk, maar die specifike plek waar sy wou staan was net groot genoeg vir een van ons, en ek het reeds daar gestaan, so die cool thing sou wees as sy my net 'n nod kon gee, of 'n vriendelike tap op die skouer en se, excuse me, of net sorry, terwyl sy miskien met haar arm oor my leun, selfs 'n ligte stampie met haar elmboog en daarna oogkontak sou my laat verstaan dat sy wou verbykom. Maar nee, nie een van die het die lig gesien. Toe ek weer sien is ek gebuldoze na 'n nuwe ruimte, weg van my groepie. Ek kyk vir Amelia en Antonio en spreek my ongeloof uit. Maar toe dit die tweede keer gebeur toe vlieg ek om en se vir haar sy kan maar baie mooi vir my vra om op te skuif en ek doen dit graag. Ek dink Antonio en Amelia was meer uit die veld geslaan as die barlady.

Observation 27:

Since coming to Dutchieland, I've noticed that I am much more aware of body language - because I don't understand the language so well, there has been a sharpened awareness of what someone is saying by listening and looking.   Also, not only listening to words spoken but to tone of voice. Although, now, months later, that keen focus has also faded.

Observation 26:

I've got to give it to them - they have very wide reach of their language, at least the individuals with whom I've spoken to regarding the Dutch language.

Ek dink die kompliment sou lui as volg: Dutchies is wel ter tale.

Observation 25:

Hierdie observation is opgedra aan Arybert Lekkerkerk.

pause

is die alliterasie en ritme van die woord nie fantasties nie?!!?

Observation 24:

Die padreels onderdruk die mens se natuurlike drang om vinnig te ry.

Observation 23:

Nederlands: Taal van Anglisismes. 

  • "Creëren urgente preventatieve maatregelen";
  • "Geextraheerde data zijn gesignaleerd en geconverteerd";
  • "Project is gepland";
  • "Mag ik je refereren?" 
  • "Shoppen is mijn favorite hobby".

Alles Nederlands.

Observation 22:

Ek sweer die ene is waar - Gehoor op Radio Veronica 27 Jan 2006 om 8:15 - "Die poes wordt genaaid".  Nee, al wat dit beteken is die kat word vandag reggemaak. "Shame", hoor ek die presentator zeggen: "haar laatste dag als meid". 

Nou, in SA sal dit nie so goed afgaan nie, of hoe?

Observation 21:

It's not so bad here, I am actually enjoying the challenge of getting the hang of the new country. However when i see pictures of friends in South Africa, Table Mountain, Rustlers Valley in the Eastern Freestate,  South Western Cape over Christmass, the beach, the sand. Fair haired children living like hippies for a holiday until getting back to their parents' existence in the gauteng.  Where their parents had also once been hippy africans that happen to be white, all the time trying to take themselves very seriously but unwittingly being carried along with the freedom that is undeniable the result of mother africa on her children, adopted ones too.

Observation 20:

There is a sameness here that comes from staying so close to each other.

Observation 19:

Forget service in a restaurant, or a shop, or any place where you want to pay good money for consumption. 

Observation 18:

As ek pienk papiertjies op 'n Woendag rondgeskuif het, kan ek nie blou papiertjies op 'n Maandag na 6 rondskuif nie; alleen as ek die kursus 765 gedoen het in "Overschakeling Roos naar Blouw versie 2.2".  Sou ek dan miskien wou aansoek doen om Dinsdag ook pienk papiertjies rond te skuif maar alleen met my regterhand dan sal ek nie in aanmerking geneem word vir die posisie nie, want dis sleg vir my rug - en al belowe ek hulle dat ek al veel heftiger werk gedoen het, met beide hande en voete tegelyk, sal dit nie aanvaar word nie.

Observation 17:

Hulle buk nie vir 50c nie. Its not in my job description. of, as jy 'n consultant is, en die netwerkkabel by jou tafel werk nie, klim jy NIE onder die tafel in om te kyk wat is fout met die kabel/aansluiting, etc nie. Jy trek eerder iemand anders se kabel uit, en steek dit by jou laptop in.  As jy jou desktop wil laat verhuis na 'n ander bestemming kan dit, maar die word via die SSC geregeld en dit kos 47 euro.  (R376)

Observation 16:

There are generally nice Dutchies.  I think on a one-to-one they are nice, genuine, etc. Only, i sometimes get the feeling that I am being talked down to, as if I don't have the mental capacity to understand. No, that's not true, I think they are concerned that I don't understand them, but bro', with Afrikaans in the holsters, Dutch is NOT a PROBLEM to understand!!! (just the talking is problematic) 

Observation 15:

Dutch have amazing talent for water and civil engineering; art - Rembrandt and Vermeer; and interior design and space creation (i think). They don't have a lot of talent in music.. the local music makes South African popular music sound positively hip.

Observation 14:

The "Camel man" doesn't come from the Netherlands.

Observation 13:

An observation for the sake of observing. 

Observation 12:

Ondankbaar maar vrijgewig vir goeie doele.  Ondankbaar omdat hulle geen konsep het oor hoe baie hulle het om voor dankbaar te wees nie.  Vrygewig as dit kom om gee vir goeie doele, Tsunami, Pakistan aardbewing ens.  Dualisme.

Observation 11:

Am I imagining it or is there a lot of passive-aggresiveness under these Dutchie skins...?

Observation 10:

Eigen verantwoordelijkheid: they have difficulty giving out commands. Command is a strong word, so see it in the context of a manager asking his/her team to do this, that or the other.  My mom remarked on this. The "Eigen verantwoordelijkheid" concept. What it comes down to is that something that needs to be done is the responsiblity of the person who it was assigned to (good concept) but in the same breath, this taks is then completely avoided by anyone else, and no-one checks that it is/has been done. Not even the manager of that person.  The assumption is made that the responsible person will take the responsible action (see observation 9) and that controlling that the action has indeed been taken, does not happen - lest the person's toes be trodden on. In a way this is a very mature society and this type of behaviour can be succesful; and, without pausing for breath, it can also be unsuccesful.

Observation 9:

Action is very difficult for them.  They'd rather plan for action, or make a matrix to allocate the responsiblity for action, or define deliverables per action, than take action.

Observation 8:

verskille tussen ons en hulle

  • 1. ons is filosofies, hulle is feitelik
  • 2. ons is feitelik saaklik, hulle is feitelik anaal
  • 3. ons sien baie skakerings van grys, hulle sien slegs in pikswart en spierwit
  • 4. ons verstaan, hulle begrijp
  • 5. ons hou baie daarvan, zij vinden het leuk
  • 6. Paul Kruger, Willem van Oranje
  • 7. Ons ry in 'n motor en kom by 'n verkeersopeenhoping; auto, file
  • 8. ons het guilt, hulle het selfvertroue

Observation 7:

Land of opinion. Everyone has an opinion. Ask and you shall receive. An opinion.  Almost never a positive opinion either. But somehow its not a "nagging" opinion. Sometimes I do feel it is an opinion just to be "otherwise", but I do get the impression that it is somehow a thougth out opinion that explores and questions why the other side of the given situation wasn't presented.  Good thing is - they think. Bad thing is - there is always going to be some side that's not covered so nothing that that thing which is the receiver of the opinion, will never be perfect.  Some Dutchie will be of the opinion that "volgens mij moes..." - therefore it came short of a certain something.  However, they do think, and do not just accept. There is a page to be taken from that book. !!..South Africa wake up..!!

Observation 6:

There are no parallel roads in Holland.

Observation 5:

Analysis paralysis. That is the dutchie way.  I happened to find out that all the play parks in Leiden - all 16 of them, are classified, indexed, described and mapped on the local Leiden website. If you don't believe me go to http://www.leidsespeeltuinen.nl/start.htm.  It's not that I don't think it damn comfortable to look up on the internet what your closest play park is, its just that somehow its a contradiction in terms. I always associated "play" with creativity, fantasy and discovery, including discovering the park all by your 5-year old self.

Observation 4:

Flat earth syndrome.  I'll tackle this observation back to front. Its the consequence of the lay of the land, everything is flat, there is no Incline or Decline.  So what is then the flat earth syndrome?  A very large fuss is made over something very small, because figuratively speaking they are used to the "flatness" or "sameness" and therefore it takes precious little to create a incline or decline.  This argumentative approach over almost nothing, is what I therefore call the "flat earth syndrome".

Observation 3:

Numb, dull, clumsy: this is how i feel the day after drinking a lot but not too much to have a proper hangover.  Do Dutchies feel the same way?

Observation 2:

OK, actually its completely unfair to call them rude. So far, every single one of them, whom I've spoken to in a one-to-one type conversation, has been exceedingly friendly.  Rather the rudeness comes from the aloofness in the public space, the self-assuredness and the tenacity with which arguments in the media are disected like bloodhounds after a carcass.  I almost envy them, for this sense of "me"-ness, that is everything that being humble is not.  Get my drift? 

Observation 1:

They are rude, but they show little anger (no! please don't get mad, see observation 2). But, today for the first time in 3 months I saw some animation. One guy pushed another guy on his shoulder because the pushed guy had obviously, just like the rudeness predicts, shoved himself forward without a care to who is in his way on the train platform. (I have actually seen a big healthy guy almost walk my pint sized mother to the ground because he didnt budge 2 cm on an empty sidewalk, and she was in conversation and didn't notice). This lead me to thinking, although rude, they are not really a nation of physical violence. There are very little riots, angry, noise, shouting, anger noise, heated discussion, shouting. In South Africa, the people are extemely polite to each other -  black people e.g., always first enquire as to the weather, your family, etc. before discussing the matter at hand. Whites too, are known to be "gasvry", but short tempered.  (now, don't try and argue with me). But, it is a country of extreme violence - people knife each other, the traffic is text book road rage, anger simmers everywhere. Therefore my theory is that a rude society is less violent, and a violent society is more polite on the surface.  Can anyone please test this, please?

Buying a house in the Netherlands

Buying a house in The Netherlands aka Dutchieland is a lot of fun, because:

  • You get to take of a whole 30mins a shot, which translates to two hours at a time of your workday at your own expense, to walk through a shoebox house.
  • You get to compare the statistics of various shoebox houses with each other, as the statistics are all readily available (ha ha really)
  • You get to pay the equivilant of R1.6million for an appartment the size of a shoebox, and feel like you've got a good deal.

No seriously, there is some fun to it:

1. The agents have to tell you everything that's wrong with the house, they are not allowed to wilfully hold back information, but you have to ask the right questions.

2. Everything is super organised, so you can get information and tips about buying a house from various sources, like websites.

Even so, we found that there was no step by step guide. Here's how we went at it:

1. We started checking out the two big websites: www.funda.nl and www.vbo.nl for houses on sale, and at the same time making appointments with banks to investigate the chances of our getting a loan.

2. We started seeing houses - fun -  but time consuming.

3. We went to see 3 banks -  during this visit we had to produce our passports and verblijfsvergunning (they will only provide a loan to an EU citizen), our job contracts, and salary statements. This was only to get through the door. One bank wouldn not give us a (decent) loan, because only the EU citizen's salary was taken into account (not the wife of the EU citizen). One said they would, but we didn't persue it, and a third had no problem with taking both salaries into account because the wife had a code "1" on her verblijfsvergunning. OK, lets call a spade a spade. ABN AMRO wouldn't give us a loan, Postbank was keen, and Rabobank didn't flinch at offering it. 

Our friendly Rabobank consultant, seriously no sarcasm intended, spent an hour and a half explaining the various options to us, gave us printouts of the model he proposed, and sent us off.

The husband did some googling and found a nice oversight on www.expatica.com about the different models for homeloans. Still quite a lot to be said about the interest model for home loans in Dutchieland, but we are no experts, so I'm not going to let myself out on it. Suffice to say that there was a lot of smoke coming out our heads, and we spent one whole week every evening discussing pro's and cons, drawing up spreadsheets and calculating expenses.

4. We became members of Vereniging Eigen Huis. They are supposed to be a independent body that provide advice and cheap services to its members. See point 6.

5. We saw a place we liked, had some seriously funny negotiation, and then made an verbal offer that stated the price, and conditions that could annull the contract namely - a) if the building report showed serious reason to not buy and b) if our loan (hypotheek) got refused. We also agreed on a opleveringsdatum (the date by which we could move in).

6. We made an appointment through VEH to have a building inspection done. Very important to have this inspection - aparently - if you are not using an agent at a cost of €255.  I must say, he didn't tell us anything we didn't already know (OK we rent in the same block) and it is of interest to note what he did NOT do - he didn't look at the electrical wiring (he only checked how many electrical "groups" there were), he didn't look at the plumbing of the apartment (only showed us the old pipes in the basement of the building) and he didn't look at the pipes of the apartment's own central heating system (he only checked the age of the CV kettle). Rightly my mother asked: "So what DID he do?".

7. Next we made two appointments with a notary (in SA I think its the same as an attorney); the first to draw up a purchase contract and the second to sign with the seller - reason being that neither us (the buyers) nor her (the seller) are working through an estate agent (makelaar). On this contract you are supposed to put the purchase price, the clauses with which the contract can be invalidated and the date of occupation, and a date by which the buyers need to answer to the clauses. We shopped around quite extensively for the cheapest notary on www.degoedkoopstenotaris.nl. There are two deeds that need to be created (plus costs for the obligatory translator), namely:

  • Hypotheekakte + investigation + registration (this is the deed for the loan)
  • Leveringsakte + investigation + registration (this is the deed for the transport, me thinks)

The investigation costs are necessary to see if there are debt from a previous owner still linked to the property.  The costs are all subject to BTW (Value added tax @ 19%) except the registration.  The translator is another story. It works out at about €200-€300, and it is (apparently) compulsary for the Leveringsakte.

8. In the meantime the husband had a form signed by his work, called a Letter of Intention, because he doesn't have a full time contract, only a year contract. 

9. We then had our second appointment with the bank, with our friendly consultant, thinking that he would tell us if the Bank is going to provide the homeloan or not. The answer was: NOT.....YET. Out came another list of things we have to do, and provide before they can say Yea or Nay. Here is that list:

  • Taxatie (valuation of the property)
  • Letter of intention for the wife too (even though she has a permanent contract - we thought it was only if you didn't have a permanent contract)
  • Annual pension statement
  • Apartement splitsingsakte
  • WOZ waarde (that's the valuation of the property by the gemeente, and what you pay tax on)

10. After the second meeting some time passed...

11. In the meantime we had an appointment with the notaris to draft the purchase contract. A week later the seller (Jose-Anne) and buyers (that's us) went to sign it.  You then have 3 days to get out of the purchase agreement with no reason. From the day the contract was signed till 3-4 weeks later you have time to get out of the contract based on certain conditions such as: home loan not approved, or building inspection shows house is in terrible shape.  After this date has passed you are contractually bound to buy the house - for us that is 27 October 2007.

12. The bank sent us an offer for a homeloan! We had not even supplied all the list of things they mention we need to give them, of course the offer only stands on condition that we provide the 101 documents. We studiously filled it in and await our third appointment with the bank.  Oh and by the way, you also need to undergo a medical for the insurance. This is another form to fill in, but it is done by whoever does your medical.

13. Then on or before the day when you move into the house, you go again to the notaris, and sign the deeds of transfer (hypotheek or leveringsakte), you are then given the keys and may move in.  For us that's only going to be 1 February 2007.

14. If, for some reason, the seller goes bankrupt before the date of delivery of the house, the house isn't transferred to you anymore, probably to pay all the debtors. In the event of something like this happening, you can register the sale at the Kadaster, for something like €190, in which case the seller cannot hold back the transfer if he/she goes bankrupt.

15. What we don't know yet is when exactly the finance kicks in. We saw something in the loan contract that said you have to start using it within 3 months of signing the contract, which for us was 5 October 2006, but then they mention a date of 21 December.  It doesn't make sense, but we've still somehow got the sneaky feeling that the downpayment of the loan is going to start before we move into the house, which means we will be paying for a place we don't live in. 

16. Note on previous point - you only start paying your loan once the transfer has taken place. 

17. We ended up visiting the bank a third time, after sending the last batch of documents, which consisted of

  • declaration of health and,
  • Insurance - there was - I kid you not - 6 types of insurances we could have taken out. We didn't take out any because as it were - the home insurance we want, that insures against flooding (of say your washing machine), or fire (if say, one of your pieces of electrical equipment catches fire) is not covered!

While we were at the bank, we also had to sign two other documents of insurance of the bank loan that covers the time from having signed until the transfer takes place, and another one that is the usual home insurance that ensures the home loan is paid off should you die before paying off the loan.

18. We were going to get sent one very last document at home (I think it was the bank guarantee), that had to be signed and sent back to the bank. One sentence on this document has to be written out in full. Which we did, but, only one of us wrote it out, and if there are two purchasers, as in our case, both people have to write out this sentence

19. The bank guarantee has to be at the Notaris on or before the day that the "termyn voor ontbindenden voorwaarde" is annulled. In our case that was the 27th of October - a Friday. We got a nervous call from Leo - could you please come in and complete the document correctly because you didn't write the sentence out twice and the document has to be there by Friday? Sure thing. Wednesday evening the 25th we went in to the bank and added the missing sentence.

20. Leo then "sommer" made us a copy of the bank guarantee, since we were there. 

21. It was posted on Thursday.

22. Friday the 27th I phoned the Notaris office up, and lo and behold, they received the bank guarantee. We were really home owners.

23. Saturday I put a note in our seller's post box to tell her the deal was through. Now we have to wait it out till February 2007 to move into our first home, at the ages of 32 and 31 respectively. No more living like squatters, students and travellers...

24. Remember to change the address at the Gemeente - you can change it Gemeente website online before you even move, however, if you're like us and you didn't know you have to change it, then go to them in person with copies of passport or verblijfsvergunning.

25. Link the electricity by phoning a electricity company like Nuon.

26. Remember to link the drinking water by phoning the water company - we didn't know you had to do this and was threatened that our water supply would be cut off if we didn't - so we hastily sent the letter - a month and a half after we moved in. The drinking water looks like its clean still...

27. Organise the Internet and Telephone.

28. Tell the postal service your address has changed. They have a nice site that will inform various companies on your behalf that your address has changed. I thought that was **damn** useful.  www.tpgpost.nl

29. Aparantly you also have to go and introduce yourself to your neighbours. We are still postphoning this. We really should.

30. TV isn't free. We thought you just buy a TV, and plug it in, surely there are some free channels? Turns out we got 38. Wow! that's great, this country sure knows how to provide to its citizens. Well, about 3 and half months after we move in, the signal is taken down, Aparently there's no thing such as free TV.

31. Pay your Gemeentelijke tax.

Chris Chameleon & Ingrid Jonker

Hierdie gedigte is uit "Ik herhaal je" van Ingrid Jonker. Vertaal deur Gerrit Komrij, nawoord deur Henk van Woerden.  Hoop almal is nou happy dat ek die regte "dues" gegee het. Ons het dit in my Nederlandse taalklas hanteer as voorbeeld van 'n taal wat verwant is aan Nederlands. Ek het byna gehuil...

Die mees fantastiese manier om egter daarna te luister is om na Chris Chameleon se interpretasie te luister (sy record label is Rhythm Records), ek dink hy het haar gehoor en hy het die musiek gemaak. My gunsteling is: Ek herhaal jou, ek weet nie hoe hy dit reggekry het om die melodie so perfek by haar woorde te laat pas nie. Hierdie is die soort musiek wat in my opinie 'n "classic" status gaan bereik, in Afrikaans, op dieselfde rak as warrelwind, neon reënboog en lisa se klavier. 

Hier is haar gedigte, en om dit kompleet te maak, luister ASSEBLIEF na

Moenie slaap nie

Moenie slaap nie, kyk!

Agter die gordyne begin die dag dans

met 'n pouveer in sy hoed

 

Ek weet

Ek weet tog

jou mond is 'n nessie

vol voeltjies

 

Toe jy 'n baba was

Toe jy 'n baba was

het jy sekerlik geruik

na 'n bokrammetjie

en blomme

 

As jy slaap

As jy slaap

is jou voorkop 'n berg

en jou slape

soos lammers teen die hange

Dutch Driver's License

 The blood, sweat and proverbial tears I had to suffer to get this #!&blooming@%! Dutch driver's license is not to be repeated by the faint of heart.

First of all information is scant

Second, if you are from South Africa, then your license is NOT GOOD ENOUGH for the oh-so-sophisticated, our-system-art-better-than-though powers-that-be that determines these kind of things. And honestly, I haven't really found out who determines what because there's the Eerste Kamer, the Tweede Kamer, the Ministerie van Verkeer en Waterstaat, the Gemeente and the CBR, and then there's your friendly neighbourhood autorijlesschool.

But let's start with the CBR - Centraal Bureau voor Rijvaardigheid - they apparently HAD a fast track procedure for foreigners to get their Dutch license but it was scrapped.  Here is what I had to do:

1. Write a theory exam

2. Do driving lessons with a driving instructor from a driving school

3. Do the practical driver's exam

Here's what is RIGHT with this system:

  1. Writing a theory exam - yes it's good. I wrote the SA exam 15 year's ago, when I was 16, and it serves as a good refresher. 
  2. Police presence on the road, it does keep law and order although I must say I got a parking fine of €50 the other day, because of their stupid parking automate that didn't accept my card, hence I had to run up and down all day putting money in the meter, and the camera's on the road.. but I digress..

There are also in my mind 2 major differences regarding road signs:

  1. the yellow diamond on a major road indicating right of way for passengers on that road.
  2. their negative signs are round, the white centre displays a picture of the prohibited object or action, and the border is red. (I think) in SA we have the additional diagonal line accross the sign indication a negative/no/don't do it.

In my opinion there are 2 differences in the driving itself:

  1. they drive on the right hand side of the road, as opposed to the Commonwealth left.
  2. there are a lot of cyclists on the road

The rest is honesly the same, its like getting into a new town, you don't know the way, but that doesn't mean you don't know how to drive.

Here's what is completely WRONG with this system:

1. Driving lessons - in just the previous two tax years I've driven just short of 60 000km's.  Driving lesson's required? - I don't think so.

2. Your "instructor" that tells you you will need between 10 and 20 lessons. They don't tell you how they arrive at that amount. They also cannot explain why they amount is so foggy.

3. Another instructor, which you acquired because you cannot stand foggy answers, shouts at you because you start the car in neutral, or put it in neutral when you stand at a traffic light! Or turn the car off before you've put up the handbreak! For crying out loud, don't you know anytyhing? What the &#$ was I thinking?!?!

4. You eventually do stall the car at some stupid place because:

  • you've been relegated to a puber (tiener) who's learning to drive and its sort of psycological how that works. 
  • you don't succeed at the parallel parking, because let's face it, after 13 years of driving its just something that you were never really good at and you always looked for a parking spot where you didn't have to parallel park. AH! thinks our instructor. She was lying, she cannot drive.

5. The exam. An absolute joke my first time in the Netherlands (Leiden). My friendly examiner told me not to speak, right after I said hello.  He also yanked on the steering wheel during the exam in a situation he felt was dangerous. Such a safe maneauvour.  I failed the exam. The psycological thing again. 

6. You get no refund. You've spent €200 for this exam (see breakdown of costs below), now you have to take another.

Here's what is completely WRONG with the Dutch system of obtaining driver's licenses in general

1. It is a discriminating system against people who don't have money - at €35 to €40 per hour lesson - it becomes a huge sum of money if the average amount of lesson is 30! (not sure of the average number of lessons, but its from heresay)

2. It leaves a HUGE gap for moonlighters and cheaters who set up there little driving schools because they driving school determines HOW MANY lessons you need. There's NO independent jury, no check list or scale you are measured against, the omie of tannie sitting there sucks their thumb, sticks it into the Dutch air, and says - between 10 and 20 lessons. HELO! They win because you cannot do the driver's exam without the car provided by the autorijschool (these car's are specially built with the double set of pedals on the driver and passenger side).

3. Its a money making scheme on the part of the government (or whoever manages licenses) because once you've paid for your exam (around €83) and passed, you have to take a little piece of paper to the gemeente (city hall) and pay another €50 to actually get your license. Like I said: discriminating against people who struggle to get through the month.

Here's what is completely WRONG with the Dutch traffic rules (verkeerregels)

1. There are too many road signs.  You are completely overwhelmed by roadsigns. They sometimes have three roadsigns below each other on a pole, and often 2 have to be read in conjunction with each other, e.g. a sign that allows something, but only for the road users denoted on... the sign below.

2. They are fanatic about the kindersitjes (child seats) at the back of the car, and then there's some obscure rule that says if a child is shorter than 1.5 m and below 12 then they cannot sit in the front seat, something like that, heavens I'm just 7 cm taller, may I sit in the front? BUT, and here's the ironic bit: babies and todlers whose's sculls have by no means developed fully, are being placed on bicycles WITHOUT helmets or any form of bodily protection while mommy or daddy cycles about town.  It looks too cute, but its actually probably fatal when baby's head hits the tarmac.  Its just so contradictory!

My suggestions if you also feel that the Dutch Driving system is unwell:

1. Write a letter of complaint to the CBR, and to as many institutions as you think is necessary

2. If you can get your license via the 30% regeling, that is the way to go, your license is simply converted because you are a "knowledge worker".

3. Aparently if you have a British passport you can transfer your SA driver's license into a British one, and you are allowed to use the British license in the Netherlands.  Rooinekke!

4. If you have to actually do the Dutch exam - use your international driver's license that you obtained from South Africa (from the Automobile Association  (bless them) at a very reasonable R80, bring 2 passport photos and your license) - and rent a car. I rented at three places here in the Netherlands: Avis, Hertz and Kohler, and it gave me the chance to get used to the Dutch roads and traffic on my own time.

5. Get a driving school that deals with Internationals, do NOT do what I did the first time - I took on a school from an ad in the paper.  I phoned around and compared prices, and then took the one with the lowest price and the friendly voice. What is important is that they understand you are no beginner, and that the instructor can speak English. Then I think, although I didn't do this, you should negotiate that you want to do, say 3 lessons and then the exam.

6. Before accepting the autorijschool, go to their offices, and see what kind of "house" they keep. If its in a dingy, unkempt place then they are going to have that kind of attitude. My experience with the first school that I discovered in a back road of Leiden, broken motorbike parts everywhere.  Papers everywhere.  My bet is that their bookkeeping is also a bit messy.

7. During the driving lessons be sure that the instructor tells you what the examiner will look for, and these are little habits that one tends to lose after passing the exam the first time, although we also did it using the K53-system in SA: 

  • looking into mirrors every 10 seconds:  side mirror and centre mirror
  • looking into your blindspot or left over your shoulder before you indicate
  • looking into the blindspot right of over your shoulder left before you turn (for the sake of cyclists), and on a narrow road
  • start the car in first with the clutch in
  • when first in line at the traffic light, keep the car in 1st gear
  • foot off the clutch when you are not using it
  • when turning the car off, first pull up the break, switch off the lights and lastly switch it off

How to do the following maneauvres:

  • parallel park
  • backward park into a parking bay
  • reverse for 100m
  • three-point turn
  • reverse around a corner

8. Day of exam arrives, guess what, you are nervous, why is that, after years of driving CRAZY M1 thru Jo'burg or the N2, M3, M5 or M7 in Cape Town. Helo! It's an exam, its a natural reaction.  But do not give them the pleasure!

Breakdown of costs:  Total €728

  • €76 (2 lessons at dubious rijschool @ €38 per class)
  • €222 (6 lessons at rijschool who understand internationals @ €37 per class)
  • €200 (1 failed exam @ €83 for exam, €37 for lesson before exam, €37 for using car during exam €43 for costs which were never specified)
  • €180 (2 passed exam @ €83 for exa, €37 for lesson before exam, €37 for using car during exam €23 for costs which were never specified)
  • €50 (1 license)

Wine ratings

 I have a little hobby and that is drinking wine.  No, uhm not tasting it, actually drinking it.  As there are so many to try, I'd like to prevent myself from drinking the same wine twice, or if I have to do so, to make sure that its from the "good" list.  The list is in Afrikaans (gemeng met Engels), and it's my own opinion. I'm no expert, and also, cannot be held responsible for my opinion.  The plonker drinker (see the prices of the wine (!) ) also has a right to have a "taste". 

Die formaat waarin die wyn gelys is, as ek die informasie het, is min of meer: Naam op etiket, tipe wyn, jaar, distrik, land, prys, winkel gekoop, my kommentaar, ander kommentaar.

The format in which I tried to comment on the wine, if I remembered to write it down, is: Name on the label, type of wine, year, district, country, price paid, shop, my comment, other comments like prices.

Very nice wine - my highest recommendation : Baie goeie wyn - ek beveel dit aan (vir wat dit werd is.. haha)

  • L’avenir Savignon Blanc, 2003, South Africa – Herbaceous nose with reich tropical fruit on the palate. Excellent when chilled in the summer. Silver medal winner International Wine awards Michael Angelo.
  • Beaumonte Chardonnay Viura, 2004, Navarra, Spanje, Albert Hijn. eg lekker.
  • Chardonnay Domaine Boyar, 2004, Shumen-Bulgaria.  Daar's net iets die oomblik as die wyn you mond binnegaan en die lug in jou verheemelte die wyn aanraak, dan is daar 'n smaak/klank/neus wat ek nie kan beskryf nie, wat net ongelooflik lekker is. peaches?
  • JP Chenet Cabernet-Syrah, 2004, Frankryk (neem ek aan). Lekker
  • Vin mousseax Chardonnay Brut,  borrelend, fris, effe frank, heerlik, selfs dae nadat dit in die yskas gestaan het.

Nice wine - i could spend my money on a bottle : Goeie wyn – ek sal my swaarverdiende geldjies op ‘n botteljie spandeer.
  • The Wolftrap, 2002, Suid Afrika
  • Welmoed Pinotage,  2002, Suid Afrika,
  • Zandvliet Shiraz, 2002, Robertson, Suid Afrika 
  • Avontuur Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot, 2000, Stellenbosch, Suid Afrika 
  • Bovlei Winery Cabernet Sauvignon, 2002, (winemaker seleksie) Wellington, Suid Afrika
  • Goede Hoop Domaine, 2002, (Estate wine) - regtig baie baie lekker vir ‘n woensdagaand en die res van die week, by die huis.
  • Hill & Dale Cabernet Sauvignon Shiraz, 2002, Stellenbosch, Suid Afrika  – lekker diep, lekker drinkbaar veral na Old Chapel yum yum.
  • Kleinbosch Chardonnay 2003, Suid Afrika  - Baie lekker drinkable
  • Jean Sablenay Chardonnay 2004, Suid Afrika  - Lekker drinkbaar
  • Hardy's Colombard Chardonnay, 2004, South East Australia - nice
  • Farnese Montepulciano D'Abruzzo, 2001, Italy, Ortona - rooiwyn, maar ek weet nie eens watter soort nie, heerlik sag op die pallet.
  • Beamonte Viura Chardonnay, 2005, Navarra, Spain, nice if i recall
  • Swartland Chardonnay,  2005, Suid-Afrika
  • Malbec Pigmentum, 2004, Georges Vigouroux - the bottle just went too fast.
  • Bindi Sergardi Chianti Classico, 2004, heerlike rooiwyn wat Antonio se manager uit Italië vir hom gebring het.  Heerlik.

So-So wine - could be drunk : Orraait wyn

  • Cape 1652 Chennin Blanc Chardonnay, 2005, Suid Afrika, Albert Hijn. Very good if it follows a white from the list below, such as the Kaapse Pracht droeë steen...
  • Chateau Tapie, 2004 & 2003 Coteaux du Languedoc, Frankryk - ek kan glad nie op die label uitfigure watter soor wyn dit is nie, ek verbeel my ek het erens gehoor hulle sit dit nie op 'n Franse label nie (i should look that up).  Die naam klink impressive maar die wyn is nie.
  • JP Chenet Merlot, 2004, Frankryk. Ja, die ander botter was lekkerder, die ene was net 'n mespuntjie te soet.
  • Pampas del sun, Red wine,  Argentina, daars nie eens 'n jaartal op die bottel nie. Darem'n mooi etiket
  • Alta vineyards Merlot, 2004, Morocco,  I was interested in how a Moroccan wine would taste - it was OK if I recall
  • Noble Cape sparklink wine, Extra Brut, WO Western Cape, South Africa - very so so but it was in the cupboard
  • Chateau Cambon la Pelouse, Houte-medoc, 2003, Cru Bourgeois superior, France - I had a small glass only taste buds do not really recall too well.

Wine that should only be drunk if there is no other : Wyn wat mens net moet drink as daar geen ander is nie

  • Valmont Syrah Shiraz, 2002, Mas Aplin, Pezenas, Frankryk
  • Kleinbosch Shiraz 2002, Suid Afrika – baie drinkable slightly tangy goeie prys Wellington
  • Oranjerivier Wine Cellars 2003, Ruby Cabernet, Suid Afrika  - raak regtig net lekker na die derde glas
  • Helderberg Winery Merlot Cabernet Sauvignon, Suid Afrika  – kannie eens onhtou nie so dit was seker so-so
  • Spier 2004 Discover White, Stellenbosch, Suid Afrika – vir baie gewone situasies.
  • Old Chapel, Chapel Red, Robertson winery – daar is nie eens ‘n jaar by nie – dis net goed genoeg om gekook te word vir gluwein of in sangria.
  • Valsbaai Chardonnay, 2005, Suid Afrika - bietjie jonk
  • Kaaps Genoegen, Cabernet Sauvignon / Cinsaut / Pinotage, 2004, Suid Afrika - drinkable
  • San Pedro Gato Negro, Sauvignon Blanc, 2005, Central Valley, Chile - cloying
  • Rooiberg Chardonnay, 2004, Suid Afrika - baie cloying
  • San Pedro Gato Negro, Sauvignon Blanc, 2005, Chile Central Valley - niks spesiaals
  • Remy Pannier Chardonnay 2004, Frankryk - miskien ietsie cloying, maar wat weet ek in elk geval..
  • Kaapse Pracht Chenin blank sparkling wine, brut, 2006, WO Stellenbosch, €4.99 Aldi - I think this one was definitely overpriced. It wasn't bad, but I would pay an €1.5 less next time.

Very dissappointing wine - no offence meant - but i just could not drink it : Slegte wyn egte bloutjie geloop. Kannie se of dit die spesifieke bottle is of ‘n truly slegte oes nie. My palet kon dit nie aanvaar nie.

  • Nederburg Duet Pinot Noir & Cabernet Sauvignon, 2002, Stellenbosch, Suid Afrika, R31.99, Spar
  • Riesling Hochgewachs, 2004, €1.99, Aldi - akelige kotsagtige soet smaak
  • Welmoed Merlot 2004, Stellenbosch, Suid Afrika - Iets skerp wat net glad nie vir my by 'n merlot pas nie.
  • Kaapse Pracht Droee Steen, 2005, Suid Afrika, Aldi - regtig krasserig kan mens dof laat voel die volgende oggend.
  • Garret Vinho Verde, white wine, portugal, geen jaartaleffe borrelrig, maar in myn insiesn omdat die fermetnatsie proses verkeerd gegaan het, nie omdat dit so moet wees nie.
  • Duc de Montagne, Sparkling low alcohol cider, 1.5% alcohol, €3.95, Gall-en-Gall, if you think you want to give up on alcohol for weekend, rather skip this and buy water with bubbles.

 I didn't drink these but want to add them :  Wil hierdie nog toevoeg tot die lys:

  • Bullas vino rosario (rosé), 2002, Spain,
  • Sterrendal, Cape white, 2005, South africa
  • Palais gallien, cotes de gascogne, moelleux, 2005, France
  • Chardonnay viognier, Castel, 2004, France
  • Chardonnay, Lindemans, 2005, Australia

Bietjie moan

Nadat ek absoluut "besotted" geraak het met Chris Chameleon, was dit obviously die regte ding om die CD te koop (het 'n illegale kopie van erens gehad, en wil eg liewer die regte ding he). Ok, ons bly in Nederland, so vir my is die "instant" oplossing om die tracks te download van die Internet af. My man stel voor Musica.co.za - great, daar gou-gou met kredietkaart betaal vir 10 tracks, en op soek gegaan na Chris Chameleon- net om GEEN downloadable tracks van hom te kry nie.  Wel CD's, maar ek vertrou nie die pos hiernatoe vanuit SA nie.

OK het nou anyway betaal, probeer Gert Vlok Nel - weer 'n keer NIKS! OK, dalk is hierdie ouens te obskuur vir Musica, probeer 'n kunstenaar wat jy absoluut nie uit 'n CD winkel kan weglaat nie - Koos Kombuis - weer 'n keer NIKS!! Musica is 'n instellling in SA, maar hoekom geen tracks beskikbaar stel vir die Afrikaanse rock instellings nie? Hoekom moet ek Musica ondersteun as hulle my musiek nie ondersteun nie?  I want my money back - of miskien download ek dan maar een of ander #$#% R&B rap @#$#.

Old Home Page

Daar is 'n paar nuwe observations, dis nou 9 April 2007.

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Daar is nuwe foto's op die site gelaai.. nog nie helemaal klaar nie

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So South Africa isn't a myth afterall, we stepped off at Johannesburg airport and the sun was so bright I had to squint until I got the sunglasses out.  The air was thick, and hot.  Driving to Orange Grove, my adopted home, streets were bustling, in that typical Jo'burg way, rich next to poor, beggar turned entrepreneur, millionaires in their flashy cars, begging to get hijacked. The opulance set off against the poverty, it struck me how hilly and green everything was,  and if, if given over to Nature, she would simply grow over everything, even the highest barbed-wire and electrified fence. Truly the place of gold, if in a figurative sense. The 10 days were packed with visits to charities that fill the gaps where government fails, sorting out administration issues, shopping, meeting with super friends and running - just me, a pair of tackies (running shoes) and the open road. Photo's and observations to follow soon. Ek konnnie glo hoeveel Afrikaans ek gehoor het nie. 

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2007: yea! Nuwe jaar het begin met 'n nuwejaarsduik (of in Dutchietaal: nieuwjaarsduik) in die Noordsee by Zandvoort aan see (dink Grand Prix).  Dis nou al dag 9.  Time is fun when your having flies -- Kermit the Frog.

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30 December: Added some observations to 2007, and added a lists page.

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Fixed up the language page. 25 November 2006.

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So I made a few changes - there's a new observations page. I put the old content in the Archive. It took out the Guest book, added a few links, finished the page of buying a house.

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Its been two months since I've added stuff to 1-2-3. Its not that things haven't been happening. Its writer's block I think. Today is the Dutch election.  Polls show that the centre right might win, but probably with only a small margin. And they definitely won't be able to govern because they won't have a majority. OK that's my knowledge of Dutch politics. Which is more than of South African Politics. I should add some more comments to this site... in fact... I think I'm going to do that now.

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Added a page about buying a house in the Netherlands: 16 Sep 2006

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There's a new observation - number 55.

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Added a new page about working in Dutchieland (Working in the Netherlands - for the webcrawlers). 30 August 2006.

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Hierdie inskrywing is opgedra aan al my liewe vriende wat kinders in die wereld gebring het die afgelope 2 maande: Heidi & Maurice Woolf met Dylan, Frans Grotepas en Marjolein met Matthias, en Nicky Terblanche en Tami Blake met hulle dogtertjie Kira, en Patricia en Steve met Kade Ingram. Wow! amazing.  Ek wens die wereld se liefde en voorspoed vir hulle almal.

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I add new content to various places on the site, but mainly on the observations part of the site.  That is the 'blog'-gy part of the site, but actually I update the language page quite a lot, and that is not blog-type information.  Anyway, may brain works in lists, and by classifying information, and a blog therefore, is a structure that I do not intuitively adhere to. 

Ja, almal blog deesdae, maar ek het nie op die bandwagon geklim nie, alhoewel ek soms wens ek het, maar ek het soveel pet projects, dat dit dalk weer iets sal wees wat ek aanpak en nie klaarmaak nie, so tot tyd en wyl is first2third my blog-homepage-alles-in-een.   Die Afrikaans-Nederlands bladsy word eintlik die meeste aan gewerk, ek is werklik gefassineer deur die verskille, en ek dink dat maar so 5% van al my mental notes op die ou end hierdie site bereik.  My kommentaar oor Nederlandse leefstyl en kultuur is op die Observations bladsy, en dis die mees bloggy-ste deel van die site.  Meestal is dit in elk geval net 'n website, met lysies van informasie, want dis hoe my brein werk. Ek hou daarvan om dinge te klassifiseer deur dinge saam te voeg in 'n lys, en daarom sou 'n blog nie werk nie. In elk geval hou ek 'n regte dagboek by - op papier.

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Pretty Netherlands - Keukenhof in spring. Expensive outing at €12.50 pp, but throw in the free cycle from Leiden to there, where plenty of fields with flowers can be seen - and its a well spent day. Also, you cannot take a bad picture of a beautiful flower.

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Being a European in an African country is a strange thing. The country of your birth is the country of your heart, which in my case is South Africa. Then, for some strange reason you get it into your head to go North, and you are suddenly faced with a culture that you should be familiar to you (the Dutch culture). We came from South Africa (Suid-Afrika, Zuid Afrika) to The Netherlands 5 months ago, and so far we have survived. I think the fact that I am able to comment to my hearts content on this site, puts me a little bit of distance between myself and any given situation I find myself in here in Dutchie-land, and that seems to help cool the ol' temper a bit.

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The off-the beaten track Expatica-Undutchables site (I should put a link here to them !!)  I update this site almost daily. Today for instance.

This site is about:

  • Observations on Dutch culture
  • Word use of Dutch versus Afrikaans and vice versa
  • How to get a Dutch work permit and tax number (marry a European)
  • Other stuff that I like